An Empty Note
I’ve been having a hard time talking, trying to release this gate of emotions that I’ve been keeping inside this chest of mine. Many people have given me advice. But after all the words, sorting through all the ideas of those young and old to piece together answers. I’ve realized that after all that the only words I find myself listening to be my own.
Call me ignorant
Call me naive
But my eyes look towards a future lost in the happenings of life.
I’ve learned that love is realizing that you’re not perfect and that the world isn’t perfect either. In all that noise you find someone who is just as imperfect as you are and when your eyes met all you can hear is the sweetest symphony played on the heartstrings of two souls meeting. It is the music found in a silent night.
It has been told to me that time heals all wounds. But I’ve discovered that my heart and mind have this habit of waiting, waiting for something it’s never going to find. I’m stuck in limbo desperately trying to crawl out but it’s the little things I remember that pull me back in. It’s everything that made you who you are. It was your laugh, the way you would smile when I told you that I love you, the way our hands would intertwine with each other, and the way our lips would find each other even in the darkest night.
I had my chance to create a life with you and I ruined it with all the mistakes and empty promises I made. They say that you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. As I look back on all the memories I think of all the things I would have done differently now and how much value those memories really did hold to you. I think what really makes me sad is looking to the memories that we will never share together. I’d like to believe there’s a place where all our plans and dreams we made together are still alive. Sometimes I think I’m the only one trying to keep them alive when I should have let them go.
I know it wasn’t perfect, but we gave it our best despite all the hardships we faced. It might be too late to tell you all this, but I miss being wrapped in your arms. The feeling that there was no place else I’d rather be. The feeling like I belonged there. I find strength in the thought you miss me too and that our hearts are still connected. Maybe it wasn’t the right time for us being so far apart and maybe in the future there will be a time but for now this love is hidden kept deep down inside.
When I close my eyes to dream you always seem to be there waiting for me. I take pleasure in our meeting for everything is so familiar to me. But when I awake I’m born into the cold hands of the present day. Even though you’re far away and moved on, you’ll still always be the best of me. You taught me how to love and for that I am grateful. I find it funny that out of all the millions of people in the world its you that I will always remember, you I will always cherish, and you that I will always hold close and dear to my heart.
People tell me there will be others but for now Im in a struggle between my head and my heart.